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anon i do not think i'll be able to keep you from doing it, but i'll try anyways.
you've probably been told this a billion times, but there are people out there that genuinely care about you, and if there genuinely are none at the time, you will meet someone in the future, i assure you.
i nearly killed myself a few years ago, i overdosed on all my meds and sat there for hours, i was so fucking scared the whole time because i genuinely thought i was about to die, thankfully i didn't because now i am with the most caring, loving, beautiful person i have ever met in my life, this is probably the happiest i have been in ages.
so don't EVER give up, anon. things will get better for you, i'm sure of it.
for now though, please consider getting a therapist, it may take you a while to find the right one, but once you do they genuinely help alot, trust me.
or if you don't want to get a therapist, try doing something like planting, or maybe you'd prefer drawing? or something else entirely, just find something you like doing alot, it'll really help.
(sorry if this all sounded super retarded, i am not good at helping people with this kinds of stuff in the slightest, but i really try. best of luck to you anon <3)