>>13118995I've spent all my life trying to "cure" my schizoid. It made public school depressing and job hunting practically hopeless. My life would be much easier if my empathy and emotions weren't so stunted. But at 25 years old all I can manage to do is copy the superficial social behaviors I see others do, all I can do is pretend to say what I think a normal feeling person would say in a situation. I've gotten better at it, but I still feel nothing. Sometimes I am not in the mood and can't even be bothered to pretend to have a conversation. It's as if I'm not really there.
I really don't mind it 99% of the time and think it has a lot of benefits, but again it makes networking much harder. Most schizoids are stuck in shitty dead end jobs because of failure to create relationships and lack of motivation, and I don't want that. And then there is the whole issue of starting a family. I have never truly loved a woman in my life, I haven't met one that I actually cared about. How am I supposed to move up from one night stands or hookers to actual relationships, marriage, and a family? What kind of father would I actually be? It all seems hopeless and pointless.
