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I sincerely hope someone here can help me, and YES mods this is politically incorrect.
To put it bluntly, I think I've lost my soul. My inner monologue has grown very quiet, terse, and frankly stupid. My imagination has dulled. My vocabulary has shrunk to maybe a hundred words. It takes me longer to form my thoughts. I have little to no interest in anything. I can't sleep, and when I do sleep I don't dream. I feel partly-conscious at best. I can't concentrate on anything, and overall feel like I've lost fifty IQ points. I feel nothing. Not sadness, anger, joy, anticipation, fear, hesitation, grief, nothing. I don't do any drugs, I try to exercise, and I eat pretty clean.
To be clear, I know what it's like to be alive. I know what it's like to have elaborate thoughts pop into your head as though someone beside you were whispering them into your ear, what it's like to converse with yourself, have a strong personality, to imagine and visualize things as clearly as though you were watching a movie, what it's like to have laser-sharp focus, feel "present" in your body instead of like you're floating above it, and what it's like to be inspired and create art, but I haven't been that way for years. I'll have a few weeks every so often where I can do all these things again and I feel like my old self, but then I snap back into zombie retard mode for no discernible reason.
It has come to my attention that many anons feel the same. What the fuck is this? Why is this happening to us? How do we get our souls back?
To put it bluntly, I think I've lost my soul. My inner monologue has grown very quiet, terse, and frankly stupid. My imagination has dulled. My vocabulary has shrunk to maybe a hundred words. It takes me longer to form my thoughts. I have little to no interest in anything. I can't sleep, and when I do sleep I don't dream. I feel partly-conscious at best. I can't concentrate on anything, and overall feel like I've lost fifty IQ points. I feel nothing. Not sadness, anger, joy, anticipation, fear, hesitation, grief, nothing. I don't do any drugs, I try to exercise, and I eat pretty clean.
To be clear, I know what it's like to be alive. I know what it's like to have elaborate thoughts pop into your head as though someone beside you were whispering them into your ear, what it's like to converse with yourself, have a strong personality, to imagine and visualize things as clearly as though you were watching a movie, what it's like to have laser-sharp focus, feel "present" in your body instead of like you're floating above it, and what it's like to be inspired and create art, but I haven't been that way for years. I'll have a few weeks every so often where I can do all these things again and I feel like my old self, but then I snap back into zombie retard mode for no discernible reason.
It has come to my attention that many anons feel the same. What the fuck is this? Why is this happening to us? How do we get our souls back?
