>>13653478Then Fatty McDiversity-Hire
Shuffled into the court,
Claiming to be a firefighter
Of the corpulent sort.
Glancing at her Class A,
The Court murmured, “Oh, wow!—
Who put that silk hat
On top of this sow?”
Her EMT cert
She’d never had known,
Had it not been for
All the Lieutenants she’d blown.
She smiled politely,
But was otherwise quite cunty.
“Break time,” the Court blurted,
“Let’s make this’un a twenty.”
But back at MFD,
Fire crews watched with disheartment
As this hole in a uniform
Disgraced their department.
If you’ve ever worked labor
Then you’re sure to know the kind:
They demand all the glory
But won’t do any of the grind.
Liked by no one,
She’s fat, spoiled, and lazy.
“Oh, fuck me. Here she comes—
It’s Firefighter Fugazi.”
But back in the court
She and Nelson were jabbing,
Nelson stood stoic,
While Fugazi’s jowls kept flabbing.
“Is it department policy,” he asked,
“To participate in a mob?”
“Oh em gee,” she oinked back,
“Like, you don’t even know my job.”
Then the Court had enough,
And he slapped piggy down:
“Understand, you dumb cunt?”
She said she did, with a frown.
“Is this ham Canadian?
‘Cause I’m finna’ rake.
Good heavens, that reminds me!
It’s nearly time for a break!”
She dismounted the stand,
Curly tail between hocks,
And trotted back to the gutter,
To holster black blistered cocks.
And as she trotted on by,
Defense gave a look of pure scorn
At this sardonic slam-ham
And at the costume she’d worn.
(Sometimes I dream of Nelson,
He’s quite the hero.
He asks what three things about me
would I like him to know.
Reserved, but ferocious,
A man worthy of applause;
God has yet to make a juror
He could not strike for cause.)
About this time now
The Judge looked quite aghast,
Unable to believe
How much time had since passed.
“Counsel—side-bar,”
The Court said for their sake.
“What do you guys think,
Is it time for a break?”
