>>13691494The mental pressure forced you not to tell whether you are living in the past or the present, your mental/emotional instability made you uncertain about time according to some events, at the end, your life is going to be changing significantly and you are very, very, afraid of that change, your international relations, your guilt and your present made you lost, not sure what to do, "should I do x or not?" You say all the time.
The dead sees the past and the future, only living beings see the present, you are trapped in between in a complicated way, you lack clarification to your state and your surroundings,as well as the lack of confidence.
Just note that this change is coming whether you are planning to accept it or not, your mind might bring up futuristic probabilities that might be negative , I'm not saying you should listen to these thought or not, I'm just saying this change is certainly coming.