I'm so sad that it hurts me physically. I get the same feeling you get in your body when you watch gore for the first time as a child and your muscles become numb and weak, or when you want to cry and your throat contracts and you feel helpless. But it's permanent and it hasn't gone away for months.

Is this normal? Are there other people who feel this way? It hurts too much...

If I explain this to a doctor in Canada, will they get me euthanized? I know euthanasia is now legal in Canada, so can they help?