I want to be so pathetic in front of a dominant (but adorable) female SO FUKING MUCH

Like I'd gather my courage and ask her to go out with me only to be rejected ruthlessly. Like I'd try to kiss her on our second date but I got bitch slapped to the point of crying and I had to promise her I would never do that again. Like when she accidentally found out that I use an onahole to satisfy my sexual desire because she wouldn't let me sleep with her she threatened to breakup with me and never talk to me again and made me choose between her and that stupid onahole (ofc I chose her in the end).