Christmas season has put me in a reflective mood.
I hate being horny, I hate how horniness emerges from wholesome feelings with such ease and frequency. I fear the only way to overcome such feelings is to age. However, this solution inevitably implies that these feelings are a result of youth and vitality in and of themselves, and to overcome them one must become weaker and less vital. I cannot accept that vitality means incapacity and onanism. Surely there are those who are both young and in control of the animal urges, or who can descend wholly into physicality without being overcome by physicality.
If only I were worthy of the vitality of youth.
