>>141609711) Drink 15 litres of organic apple cider vinegar every day. Everyday.
2) Rub unprocessed coconut oil into your eyes counter-clockwise (important).
3) Stick kale up your bum. Chew vigorously.
4) Snort 5 gm of quinoa each morning.
5) Shower in herbal gluten-free green tea.
6) Put turmeric paste on your wrists.
7) Cannabis... lots of cannabis.
8) Avoid meat, dairy, water, oxygen and people.
9) While standing naked in the middle of a motorway with your eyes closed, bathe in ice-cold Kombucha.
10) Facing due West, repeatedly jump on one foot, on the night of a full moon, at exactly 12pm on the first day of the month, when the wild wolf howls in the key of C#, juggle one of your kidneys with your left hand, whilst whistling Beethoven's 9th, wearing someone elses' false teeth and holding magic moon crystals.
