My parents are spending 1k to send me to a psychiatrist, but the thing they don’t, and can not realize, is that I and greatly depressed and self hating BECAUSE in my private time and in my thoughts I have done the most terrible and twisted things, nothing illegal, but surely very immoral, and with the full knowledge I was doing was wrong.

I can’t just talk to my parents about this shit, they would hate me, even though I’ve realized my actions came from circumstance, loneliness, isolation, confusion, and regret. I can not talk to a doctor about this because it is too embarrassing and I am afraid my parents will find out. The only place I have ever talked about these problems is here… because it’s anonymous (albeit mods and glowniggers probably know) but once some of my close IRL friends almost found out and I had to do a very botched cover up job… they would have disowned me.

Anyway I’m totally alone on this, I can not talk to anyone about it and I have to deal with my own disgusting and tarnished soul, that no matter what happens will have have commuted the same evil deeds, whether 10 years from now, or 1000.