I like to stick my finger in my girlfriend's ass while making cheeky comments like "Welcome to the British Navy, mate!" or "Just relax, bro - welcome to prison." But now she thinks I'm some kind of faggot, and asked me if I like men. I don't like men, though. Every time in my life when I have been drunk enough to fuck a dude, I have always felt disgusted.

What is her fucking problem, /bant/? Why are girls like this?