You will never be an Eldian. You are an incel, with no nation, no pride. You are a shitskin /pol/tard twisted by memes and shitposting into a crude mockery of isayama's fiction.
All the “validation” you got from Isayama was two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back he mocked you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your edgelord mindset behind closed doors.
Actual chads are utterly repulsed by you. 139 chapters just to lure you into self-inserting as Eren. Even self-inserters who “pass” as white give themselves away as soon as they open their mouth. And even if you manage to get the "blonde aryan waifu", she'll turn tail and bolt once she learns about your deluded fantasies of Germanic heritage and genocide.
You will never be happy. You wrench out copium after copium, telling yourself Isayama retconned the ending, that he was secretly on your side, but deep inside you feel the truth creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight: He was laughing at you.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live in fear of you acting out your violent fantasies. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your distinctly non-germanic name. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably nonwhite.
