I acted on an intrusive thought and though I hurt no one or did anything illegal my mind is destroyed and I can’t do anything anymore. And that’s compounded on top of the fact I am utterly incompetent, I can’t do even the most basic things and can’t learn anything. And though I’m healthy and look attractive I feel mentally and spiritually disgusting in my perverseness and inferiority. Sure I might be aware of some shit most people aren’t but I’m mentally gross and can’t do anything.