I'm turning 24 soon. I project a great level of confidence but on the inside I despise myself. I question my sexuality everyday and fantasise about being whipped and slapped and tied up by a man and degraded, and used as his personal fucktoy, yet in public we'll be seen as perfectly straight buddies.

I want to be put in my place and treated like the weak emotional wreck I see myself as. Only an older man, maybe early-mid 30s can do this for me. I want him to entertain my submissive desires whilst also deeply caring for me and trying to bring me out of my pit of self hate.