at first i was going to make a thread about how i found an old youtube video i found again https://youtu.be/NeSrfUuPn_g
but before i opened a folder and started finding a pic for the thread i stopped and thought
>why do i want to make this thread
>what do i want to get out of it
and also
>why do i care about why i want to make this thread
but that was easy: i care because i dont want to be a brainless zombie that spends the whole day just doing what i feel like doing without using my brain to direct my attention and actions

eventually i came to the conclusion that the reason i wanted to make the thread about the video was because i am lonely, i dont have as much contact with people as i used to and receiving replies to my thread, as inane as i'm sure most of them will be, will placate that part of my brain (soul?) that desperately wants human connection
>is that good or bad
i think it's more bad than good because it doesn't address the problem just the symptom
it doesnt uproot the loneliness, it doesnt create more stable and consistent human connections, it's like a painkiller and a painkiller is good for treating current pain in a current moment but bad if your goal is to remove chronic pain over the long term

>is anyone gonna read this shit
i think most wont but some will and it could be useful for the few that do read it and also if someone reads it and shares relevant comments or insights then their posts could be useful for me too
so that's it
that was my post about the post i was going to make