>>15049038i've been homeschooled for 2 years, haven't talked to anyone in two years and have lost what little social skills i had and can't even hold a conversation with my family, i've been cheating on all of my assignments and literally can't remember a damn thing from last year or last semester or this one and i'm actually getting away with it and might just get my diploma by cheating, i know what you mean tho, i feel like people can see me in my room and even in the bathroom when i'm about to take a shower i feel like someone is looking through the crack in the door staring at me, when i go into the living room i feel like there is a family sitting on the couch or table staring at me and when no one else is in the living room i flick them off to make it stop, because obviously i would never flick off a actual person. when i'm in my room i feel nervous changing my clothes or getting too comfortable because i feel like the TV could be watching me and streaming what i'm doing to a bunch of people. cleaning my cats litter, throwing the trash, and checking the mail are the highlights of my day, when i step outside i know it sounds crazy but i feel like everyone is watching me, and that they're all talking about me and how my hair looks weird on me or how fat i've gotten over the past two years. it sounds schizophrenic but i'm pretty sure it's just social anxiety, i also had a horrible experience before i became homeschooled even with coaches and teachers not just students, i don't blame society or anything i guess i just got unlucky and ran into a lot of assholes, i can't really trust anyone anymore with my feelings or letting them into my life, even my own parents, who i could never trust anyway, i'm scared of being hurt again by people, idk if i'd ever be able to trust someone like a gf, if i ever get one in life, with my feelings or tell her about my childhood or what's happened to me in life. i'm very sorry about the blog post i got carried away
