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Anonymous ID:q1zV/2MZ Sun 23 Jul 2017 00:55:30 No.1521957 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>1521966 >>1522568 >>1522592

>be American
>go to McDonalds
>mass shooter kills 10 people
>tip him
>go home and eat my 1800 calorie McGigaNigga burger
>make my daily student loan payment
>tip the bank for online payment convenience
>go to Wal-Mart with my wife's son in my Ford F-350
>burn 1000 barrels of fuel
>get shot over the last mobility scooter
>go to hospital
>have heart attack seeing the $10 000 bill
>family goes in to massive debt over my funeral

The American Dream™

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:tmnl7+fm Sun 23 Jul 2017 00:56:40 No.1521966 Report

Quoted By:

>>1521957
>be canadian
>exist

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:RAzBV6gI Sun 23 Jul 2017 00:57:07 No.1521971 Report

Quoted By: >>1522568 >>1522623

>be ameriburger
>trundle outside on motorised scooter because exercise is 2hard
>it's a glandular problem I swear
>get mugged by a nigger on the way to the train station
>lol just kidding what is public transport
>spend 3 hours in standstill traffic
>finally get to work
>work 10 hours for 50 cents in actual wages, get $12 in tips though so it's ok
>manager calls you into his office
>your mobility scooter trundles through extra-wide door to accommodate natural, healthy american size
>healthy at all sizes guise
>"sorry anon you're fired, pablo here can work the same hours for half of what we pay you"
>;_;
>slowly reverse out of the office
>trundle out the front door
>get shot by some random schizophrenic
>m-muh freedums though
>call ambulance
>get driven to hospital, have to tip driver and paramedics exactly 31.21% of the price of fuel plus 15.5923% of their weekly income per freedometre (A.K.A. mile) multiplied by 2.35% of your yearly earnings before tax
>if you don't tip the exact right amount, you commit a horrible social faux pas
>get carried into hospital by a team of 12 stretcher-bearers
>have to tip them all too
>before they put you down they ask for your insurance details
>have to pay $9,000,000,001 for treatment
>finally get out of hospital
>go outside
>mobility scooter got stolen by a nigger, have to walk to car
>fall over panting like a dog in heat after the first block
>finally get to car
>drive home
>get home to find wife banging a nigger
>pour self a ""diet"" pepsi into a red plastic cup
>cry

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:Qx6k6BqS Sun 23 Jul 2017 01:27:22 No.1522208 Report

Quoted By: >>1522568

>Be American
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:OIk7sFRn Sun 23 Jul 2017 01:29:07 No.1522230 Report

Quoted By: >>1522568

>Be American
>Get shot

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:7OAhuS2T Sun 23 Jul 2017 02:15:28 No.1522568 Report

Quoted By:

>>1522230
>>1522208
>>1521971
>>1521957

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:/rwTVVal Sun 23 Jul 2017 02:18:27 No.1522592 Report

Quoted By: >>1522650

>>1521957
>Be leaf
>Go outdoors
.see man getting dog blowjob
>'hey sir-"
>WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING NAME OF ALLAH DID YOU JSUT CALL ME YOU RACIST SEXIST MISOGYNIST FACIST XENOPHOBIC PATRIARCHY LOVING FUCKER? I AM A SEMIDEMIREMIMANBOYGIRLWOMANFOXKINWOLFKINDRAGON!
>rest of life spent in gulag

oof

Anonymous

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Anonymous ID:LiJWIK9d Sun 23 Jul 2017 02:21:07 No.1522623 Report

Quoted By:

>>1521971

>>get driven to hospital, have to tip driver and paramedics exactly 31.21% of the price of fuel plus 15.5923% of their weekly income per freedometre (A.K.A. mile) multiplied by 2.35% of your yearly earnings before tax

I'm fuckin dying over here.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:CIdGqjSl Sun 23 Jul 2017 02:23:52 No.1522650 Report

Quoted By:

>>1522592
Reminder that it's not chirping if you're obviously tilted

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