>>15224662both maybe. it's hard for me to really be sure about these things. i remember precious little but maybe i don't want to? like, i think they love me in their own way but just. there's one memory that stood with me, i wonder what you will think about that one
i was doing homework in primary school. i felt really tired that day for some reason. i told my parents about it but they did not allow me to rest. they told me i can rest after i finish my homework. i was already known as a lazy student. i was always told am i lazy, and i guess i was. but i was sure this was different from my usual laziness but they would not believe me. so i had to push myself until i had a "smart" idea. i remembered seeing in a movie some overworked guy falling asleep at his desk. i decided i can show them how serious it is by pretending to be asleep. when my father found me, he pulled my head up and slapped me twice.
a bit later, they finally checked on me (i don't remember if i did anything to prompt that) and turns out i had a fever. that was the first time i had a fever and i had no idea what it was. my parents then allowed me to rest and took care of me to get better.
a funny thing was that when i was a teen my mother would always complain about my father to me. always bad mouth him, always accuse him of this and that. i sort of thought we had some sort of understanding there but when one day i insulted him as well she was like, you can't do that wtf
i had a pair of pants i like, i bought them with my parents. then one day we are about to go out and my mother decides to tell me that those pants are very ugly and i should not wear them. she was right there when we bought them and she gave her approval. i did not understand wtf and decided to wear them anyway (went in another room to change). when she saw me in them she said: i want to kill him (to father about me). she wasn't serious. she wasn't going to actually fucking kill me. but you know, i really didn't like it.
