[164 / 4 / ?]
>plot So, the prisoners have escaped. They left the home world of the arume. They also left Mars in a mess. Jason and the Mars empress (Riko) both died in the destruction of mars. The horrifying arume colony of Mars is now left a wasteland once again. The prisoners, and YOU, newcomer, have landed in Russia. You are back on earth, its good to be home. Make sure you save Earth from the arume. Its anyone's game now. >rules -your rolls will vary in success at the mercy of the last two digits at the end -you find the value of the last two digits by reversing their places (e.g. 20 would actually be 02) -if your roll goes below a 20, expect things to go wrong>setting -this is the REAL survival, you have to make your own stuff now, this is like camping -earth is a wasteland -there are animals and human settlements -the arume have a main base in Japan>episode 1 The 4 anons land. They find a timid guy named Don. One of the anons finds an arume settlement. Oh shit, there's 90 of them! He fights them off, but his luck runs low. Billy Mays comes in, with his whole army of crusaders, and fucks shit up. He has taken in 40 arume prisoners, and the other 50 are dead. They even built a castle, pretty nice. Noob and Sheila start talking, and chemistry starts. They fix the ship and are heading to Japan.>episode 2 The anons land in Japan. They see its ruined, and find some chinks in a rice farm. They scare off the chinks, and the arume come in fast. Luckily, the anons escape and make it to China. Seems the chinese hate arume too, which is why they had c1g3, and now they're teaching the anons how to survive guerilla warfare.>episode 3 The anons go through a guerilla warfare test. They all miserably fail. They go through another test, this time, just shooting fast targets, and most of them do excellent. Someone slaps Sheila's ass and everyone gets into a rumble. Sheila and Noob hook up. Arthas and Aikko hook up too. Rock n' Roll.
OP
>episode 4 All of the anons fight. They weren't supposed to kill each other but they were almost getting there. W-What... being on earth was a simulation all along?! There will be hell to pay for this! Jason speaks in front of everyone and pumps them up.
Arthas Menethil
>>1547354 >Autistic Shriek so loud to break the glasses Jack Ward
>>1547376 >loading consciousness... >loading understanding >loading calmness >ERROR, calmness not found "THOSE FUCKING BITCHES, I'M GONNA RIP THERE GUTS OUT AND HANG EM' WITH EM.'"
>I breathe "Oh, pardon my language."
Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1547390 "yare yare daze. just shut up for a moment."
>>1547376 i look around the room. what are the walls made of? any vents? anything of importance?
Halton
>>1547354 Where the fuck i am
>wake up OP
>>1547390 >>1547428 >>1547432 >>1547439 >you all hear riko's voice from the speakers I see you're all very fond of your room. Too bad one of you won't enjoy it any longer! Another battle shall start to entertain the arume! One of you, come out into the arena to fight your opponent!
>you all hear evil laughing >the sound fades away and the speaker stops >a door unlocks (pick which one goes out)
Arthas Menethil
>>1547501 >>1547439 Newfag I'm sorry
>Push the Newfag into the arena Halton
>>1547545 'Fuck off'
>>1547501 >Look around the arena Jack Ward
>>1547501 >roundhouse kick Halton into the arena Noobleone "The Butcher"
Halton
>>1547560 >>1547545 'If i live in this hell hole i swear i will find you guys and knife you all.'
Arthas Menethil
>>1547580 >>1547501 Alright Newfag i'll go in your place
>Enter the Arena Jack Ward
Quoted By:
>>1547596 "Hey, wait, can I join in?"
OP
>>1547576 >>1547560 >>1547555 >>1547545 >>1547580 >>1547596 (sorry arthas, too late)
>halton goes through the door >the door closes and locks >everyone else is teleported to a viewing room, to see the match >riko's voice hears Ahahahaha! I can't wait for you all to see his gruesome death! Let the games begin!
>other huge windows surround the match >they have thousands of arume behind them, watching >the other door opens >a guy comes in with a battleaxe Arthas Menethil
>>1547616 Oh boii this is gunna b gud
>Eat some popcorn while i watch the fight Alex Jones
>>1547616 "YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT US YOU WICKED DEVIL GLOBALIST, YOU'LL NEVER DEFEAT THE HUMAN SPIRIT, AAAAAAAAAAAA"
>drinks half a gallon of super male vitality Jack Ward
>>1547616 "okay, I'm itching to see some death and this is the chance!"
>I grab some popcorn, and watch with glee Arthas Menethil
>>1547645 AAAAAAAAAAAAA CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME OF THAT MALE VITALITY SO I CAN BREAK THE CONDITIONING AAAAAAAA?
Halton
>>1547616 >Sprint full charge at the battle axe guy while hearing the athem of Colombia in my head >fucking if i can take that faggot axe. OP
>>1547628 >>1547645 >>1547651 >>1547657 >>1547663 >halton rolls a 36 >he manages to grip onto the axe, but not take it >the guy and halton are struggling over the axe Let go of my axe, dickhead.
>he kicks halton away Alex Jones
>>1547657 "HERE YOU GO MY INFO WARRIOR BROTHER
>passes a 2 liter of SMV "FIGHT THE GLOBALISTS, YAAAAAAAAHHG, AAAAAAAAAH"
Arthas Menethil
>>1547688 >>1547686 AAAAAAAAA I'M BREAKING THE CONDITIONING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>Drinks Male Vitality >Starts LIFTING LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL FOR THE NEXT FIGHT Jack Ward
>>1547686 "Ha ha! fight, fight, fight!"
>I slowly lose the concept of mercy Halton
>>1547686 >Make angry that faggot >stay away from him for now. 'fuck off'
Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1547686 i patiently watch
OP
>>1547688 >>1547707 >>1547715 >>1547732 >>1547775 >halton rolls a 23 >he backs away a little >but the guy hooks a chain up to his axe and swings it at halton >this is easily 50 pounds of pure metal flying at halton (roll to dodge, if dubs you counter attack)
Alex Jones
>>1547800 >Breaks the conditioning "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Halton
>>1547800 >Dodge attack Fuck me
Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1547800 i start shadow boxing
Jack Ward
>>1547800 >while watching, I listen to some metal Arthas Menethil
>>1547800 >>1547823 >Suddenly Hulk Hogan Anthem Starts I'M COMING BROTHER
>Jump in the Arena >Try to save Newfag from the axe blast OP
>>1547819 >>1547823 >>1547827 >>1547830 >halton rolls a 32 >he almost dodges, but gets cut a bit deep >its not fatal though, but his cut is bleeding bad >the guy retracts his axe back to him Now, stand still so I can kill you.
Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1547847 >i think to myself "halton... you idiot..." Arthas Menethil
>>1547847 Press F to Honor newfag death
>Goes back to Lifting while listening to some WWE Tunes Jack Ward
>>1547847 >popcorn intensifies Alex Jones
>>1547846 >>1547847 "GRAAAAAAAHHHH GLOBALISTS GRAAAAAAAAARRRGHHAA. YOU BOTH GOTTA ORGANIZE, YOU CAN'T FIGHT EACHOTHER THAT'S WHAT THE ARUMES WANT YOU TO DO"
Arthas Menethil
>>1547867 LET'S LIFT BROTHER
>HE LIFTS EVEN HARDER Halton
>>1547847 'Alright cunt'
>Spits on the floor >Last stand All in, no turning back >Sprint and use my Indian blood a.k.a Colombian genes to get that fucking axe, once for all desarming that guy Alex Jones
>>1547873 >Lifts gallon jugs of super male vitality OP
>>1547858 >>1547859 >>1547863 >>1547867 >>1547873 >>1547888 >>1547893 >holy shit, halton rolls trips >he rips the axe off of the guys hands >billy mays comes in Nice arena!
>billy mays smiles NOT ANYMORE!
>he gets a machine gun and shoots the guy down like a dog >he is swiss cheese now >blood is all over the wall >the ground is scratched up from the bullets >FATALITY See you guys later!
>billy mays diappears Arthas Menethil
>>1547931 Holy Shit it's the legendary Billy Mays
>He Tries to talk with Billy Mays to buy some Oxiclean and Might Putty Jack Ward
>>1547931 "Mays! Where the fuck were you man?"
Alex Jones
>>1547931 >nut pure male vitality Halton
>>1547931 >Take out some of my clothing and use them as bandages to cover that big ass injury 'Who wants the axe?'
I say offering it to anybody who is interested
OP
>>1547967 >>1547984 >>1548009 >>1548011 >halton rolls dubs >his injury heals completely, instantly >riko yells over the speakers ENOUGH! I must think this over. You will have a long break. Now, begone!
>all the anons are teleported back to the room >the arume leave the arena >everyone is back at the room >jason looks at everyone Hey, while you guys were gone, I got something.
Arthas Menethil
>>1548058 Show it then Doggyman
Jack Ward
>>1548058 "Huh, what is it?"
Halton
>>1548058 'Atleast tell me you got coffee for me Jason'
>Hands the axe to Arthas 'Do you want it?'
Arthas Menethil
>>1548075 Oh yeah baby give it to me
Halton
>>1548083 'Take it, just don't lose it is the only weapon we have for now'
>Gives Arthas the axe Alex Jones
>>1548058 "What is it, brother?"
OP
>>1548098 >>1548097 >>1548083 >>1548075 >>1548067 >>1548064 >jason shows the anons the water laced with cyanide >he also has a map next to it Just what we need.
Jack Ward
>>1548156 "oooh boy, this will be useful"
Halton
>looks at Jason confused 'A-are we making drugs Jason?'
Arthas Menethil
>>1548156 >Arthas starts rubbing his hands and thinks about a (((plan))) that might benefit him Alex Jones
>>1548156 "Let's go my fellow info warrior"
Jerome Davidson
OH SHIT I REMEMBER THESE enter thread?
OP
>>1548178 >>1548196 >>1548202 >>1548248 >>1548326 These are not drugs, guys. Anyways, I need you guys to get to the kitchen of the prison for right now. Its max security, so you'll need to be smart. You need to gather salt. If any arume guard catches you, use this.
>he gives the cyanide to arthas Take a look at the map, and leave when you're ready.
Alex Jones
>>1548464 >looks at map and drinks another bottle of super male vitality Arthas Menethil
>>1548464 What should we do if we find Rikko along the way?
>He grabs The map and Proceeds to infiltrate For some Metal gear Solid Action Halton
>>1548464 >>1548495 >Follows Arthas because why not Jack Ward
>>1548464 "Okay, salt, sodium chloride, understood"
>I take a look at the map "This isn't gonna be easy... mind if I grab something like a couple sandwiches while we're there?"
OP
>>1548479 >>1548495 >>1548528 >>1548532 >you all go through the vents >the vents make a nice cool air as you crawl through them >you guys see a opening, it is to a room, but it is not the kitchen >roll to check it out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAYhNHhxN0A Jack Ward
Arthas Menethil
Halton
OP
>>1548564 >>1548567 >>1548574 >you guys see the arume in the dressing room >they're having hot lesbian fugging >you can hear their moans Ahhh~! Ngh~!
Arthas Menethil
>>1548597 >Pic Some Leather around and use it as a bandana >Use it like Pic Related >Sneak Carefully through there Jack Ward
>>1548597 >I observe the arume for data collection and research purposes, totally not for perverted reasons... Halton
>>1548597 >Move and sneak around, try to don't make any sound. >Ignore the lesbians fugging OP
>>1548616 >>1548629 >>1548646 >you all move on, and continue through the vents >you guys see another opening to a room >as you pass over you hear a conversation So, do you plan on killing Jason, Riko?
>riko's voice is heard No, I have different plans for him. But as for the others, I'm loosing patience for them.
Jack Ward
>>1548671 >I listen to the conversation, trying to memorize important information Arthas Menethil
>>1548671 >Pick my Sound Recorder and Record the talking From a safe place
Halton
>>1548671 >Lay low on a safe place, control my breathing. Alex Jones
OP
>>1548698 >>1548695 >>1548718 >>1548722 (saved dubs)
>the arume talking to riko So, what do you suggest they do?
>riko's voice Well, I think I'll have them-
>the door in the room slaps open >an arume guard M'am! Some of the prisoners in the room are gone!
>riko I'll talk to you later. I have to deal with this.
>she leaves the room Jack Ward
>>1548736 >continue forward towards the kitchen Arthas Menethil
>>1548736 >Look for a Blanket >Put it in my head to cover all of my body >Proceed to go to the kitchen Alex Jones
>>1548736 >proceed to the kitchen through the vents Halton
>>1548736 >Use a Blanket just like Arthas and sneak to the Kitchen too >>1548766 >Whisper to Arthas 'What are we fucking kids on Halloween?'
Arthas Menethil
>>1548794 >Slaps newfag on the head This is Top Espionage you dumb fuck
OP
>>1548756 >>1548766 >>1548780 >>1548794 >>1548806 >jackward, arthas, alex, and halton make it to the kitchen safely, and there is no one there due to the face arthas rolled dubs >the kitchen has a bunch of drawers and cabinets >this is going to take a while (roll to go down from the vent without getting hurt or heard)
Arthas Menethil
Jack Ward
Halton
OP
>>1548843 >>1548845 >>1548852 >arthas rolls 34, and falls down and gets a boo boo >jackward rolls a 54 and falls down and gets no injury >halton rolls a 25 and falls down and bruises his knee Alex Jones
>>1548834 >drops from the vent without getting heard (rolling)
OP
>>1548901 10
>you fall down and you break your nose >it is crooked and makes you look jewish Halton
>try to hide and Heal my wounds
Arthas Menethil
>>1548893 >Look for The Salt in the Kitchen Very Quick Alex Jones
>>1548908 >fix nose and find the salt Jack Ward
>>1548893 >examine the area for salt and sandwiches OP
>>1548912 >>1548915 >>1548929 >>1548933 >halton fails to heal his wounds, his bruise is purple as a grape >arthas just finds a bunch of other cooking stuff >alex finds a little sealed glass of salt >jackward finds a big ass container of salt Arthas Menethil
>>1548965 >Sneak the Fuck out of there and back to my cell Jack Ward
>>1548965 >I chuckle to myself "jackpot..."
Halton
>>1548965 ''Fuck me''
I say with a low tone.
>Get out following Arthas. Alex Jones
>>1548965 >jump back into the vents with SUPER MALE VITALITY and sneak back to Jason OP
>>1548978 >>1548983 >>1548986 >>1548997 >you all get back in the vent and make it back to the room where jason is >jason sees you guys Any luck?
Arthas Menethil
>>1549008 Yes and i've also got a little present for ya
>Show the Audio Recording Alex Jones
>>1549008 "I got the salt"
>Gives him the salt "Now, it's our chance to defeat the globalists"
Jack Ward
>>1549008 >I give jason the big ass container of salt "Yes, we have had luck."
Halton
>>1549008 'Renember me to join in a orgy with a lesbian, atleast i don't get my bruise purple'
OP
>>1549013 >>1549018 >>1549019 >>1549050 >jason takes the stuff Thanks, guys.
>he listens to the recording Ah damn, never got the full thing huh?
Anyways, glad to see im not going to die.
>he gets a bucket of water >he pours salt into the water Someone get the power cables
Arthas Menethil
>>1549067 ''Perharps you could use a bit of speech and finesse to try convince her to not shoot us,it'll would be nice not fighting a fucking army''
Jack Ward
>>1549067 >I hand jason the cables "Here you go."
>I quickly look around "do we still have the cyanide. by the way?"
Halton
>>1549067 >sit down and wait Anonymous
>>1549008 i wait for my fight
Noobleone "The Butcher"
OP
>>1549072 >>1549092 >>1549102 >>1549115 >as jackward hands jason the power cables, everyone is teleported out >holy shit what >everyone appears in the arena, but, its dark, and theres no one there >a spotlight shines on Riko >she is smiling evilly Have fun with your friend.
>she teleports out >Li Ming walks in from the side of the arena Took you long enough. I made a mistake training you guys.
Arthas Menethil
>>1549134 Come at me you fucking gook
>Attack him with my axe Jack Ward
>>1549134 "Oh, hey Li, hows it been going?"
Gideon Crawforde
>He stares silently at Wang Chong
Alex Jones
>>1549134 "Who are you, and what do you want? Are you an ally of the globalists?"
Halton
>>1549134 >Sprint, Using my Indian Genes. A.k.a Colombian genes to Li, helping Arthas to attack Li more precise. Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1549134 i look at what li ming can do
OP
>>1549173 >>1549166 >>1549160 >>1549157 >>1549175 >>1549184 >li ming holds his hand out and arthas and halton are shot into the wall by pure force >what the fuck? how did he do that? Not yet, you two.
>he looks at everyone >he looks at jackward So... you remember me, after all this.
I'm SO FLATTERED!
>everyone is surrounded by a tall, hot pillar of fire But... ITS TOO LATE NOW!
>fire revolves around him and he takes out his nun-chucks made of fire Gideon Crawforde
>>1549200 >Take a step back and analyse his movements Arthas Menethil
Halton
>>1549200 >Cover Nothing will stop us now Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1549200 "li ming... what did you just do?"
>>1549211 i see gideon is being smart about this.
"see anything useful?"
Jack Ward
>>1549200 "Well of course I'd remember you! you are the best asshole I've ever met! ...Other than mays, he's on a whole other plane of reality..."
>I breathe "Anyway, we will need all the help we can get to escape this hellhole, join us and neither side has to die."
Alex Jones
Quoted By:
>>1549200 "DON'T COWER NOW, WE ARE 1776, WE ARE THE REVOLUTION, AND WE STAND LIKE TRUE, PROUD AMERICANS. WE WON'T LET THESE ARUMES AND GLOBALISTS RULE US! AHHHHHHHRRRRRRRHGGGGGGGGGGG"
>Drinks an entire gallon of super male vitality and beats the shit out of ching chong Gideon Crawforde
>>1549230 >He shakes his head Hans Wilhelm
Quoted By:
>>>1549200 "Jesus Christ!"
>Raise my guard and prepare for a fight Halton
>>1549245 >Try to whisper a bit to Gideon 'What you have in mind'
OP
>>1549211 >>1549217 >>1549229 >>1549230 >>1549237 (dubs saved)
>he looks over at jackward I trained you better than this. Don't quit on me. You were one of my best, I expect more than this from you!
>he looks over at the anons taking cover and standing back Come here, I'll end the pain!
>he swings his nunchucks shooting out big waves of fire at the anons taking cover BURN, BABY!
(roll to dodge or block)
Gideon Crawforde
Quoted By:
>>1549254 >He isn't listening Arthas Menethil
>>1549272 DODGING IS FOR PUSSIES
>BLOCK THE ATTACK WITH THE STRENGTH THAT THE SUPER MALE VITALITY GAVE TO ME Jack Ward
>>1549272 "I understand that, I will not quit, but well... what can I say, you're one of the few guys here I don't want to see go down..."
>I breathe again, and get into a kung fu stance "but if you insist... come on then!"
Gideon Crawforde
>>1549272 >Roll towards him under the fire >Keep watching him closely Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1549272 i dodge, at the same time using my boxing footwork to leap forward. if i get in range i kick some dirt in his eyes
Alex Jones
>>1549272 >dodges and charges bing wong Halton
>>1549272 >Block it >Thinking about sprinting to Li. Hans Wilhelm
>>1549272 >Dive out of the way "Li Ming you bastard!"
OP
>>1549287 >>1549298 >>1549299 >>1549301 >>1549303 >>1549312 >>1549323 >halton and noob get burned pretty bad by the fire waves >hans barely manages diving away from the fire >alex dodges the fire, but li ming notices alex charging at him, he slams him in the chest with the nun-chucks and he falls on the ground >gideon rolls dubs and finds a fusion gun next to him >arthas blocks the fire without any injuries >he looks at jackward I like you, which is why I'll kill you last. I want you to live a little longer.
Halton
Quoted By:
>>1549351 'fuck...'
>Play dead >gotta take siesta in next life Arthas Menethil
>>1549351 ALEX I NEED THE SUPER MALE VITALITY NOW
>STARTS TO POWER UP HIS AXE Alex Jones
>>1549351 >Get up "YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT THE HUMAN SPIRIT YOU WICKED, WICKED DEVIL"
>Charge chink again Jack Ward
>>1549351 "Heh, thank you... I guess."
>Begin combat, Now! "But that won't stop me fighting!"
Gideon Crawforde
>>1549351 >Grab the fusion gun >Take a step back >Watch carefully Hans Wilhelm
>>1549351 >Charge at Li Ming Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1549351 i take some dirt and put it in my pocket.
i stand back up.
>>1549374 i see gideons gun, i nod
OP
>>1549366 >>1549369 >>1549370 >>1549374 >>1549384 >>1549392 >arthas tremendously powers up his axe >alex jones charges at li ming and hits him, 96 damage, li ming steps back from alex jones >he instead goes for jackward and slams him across the head hard with the nunchucks >gideon stands back with the fusion gun, but he is almost touching the fire circle >hans charcges at li ming, but he side steps and dodges him, thus hans falls down >noob stands back up but he is aching Gideon Crawforde
>>1549408 >He smiles >>Shoot him with the fusion gun while he's distracted Jack Ward
>>1549408 "Oh boy, nice hit there!"
>I return the favour Arthas Menethil
>>1549408 >DRINKS SUPER MALE VITALITY NOT YET JUST A FEW MORE
>KEEP POWERING UP THE AXE Arthas Menethil
Alex Jones
>>1549408 >Continue to beat the shit out of Li "YOU PICKED THE WRONG PLANET, YOU WICKED ARUME DEVIL"
Noobleone "The Butcher"
>>1549408 while he is distracted by alex and jack i get up close, then throw the dirt from my pocket in his eyes. once he cant see i kick him in the nuts and try to snatch the nunchuks in that instance
Hans Wilhelm
>>1549408 >Get up and swing at him from the back OP
>>1549423 >>1549424 >>1549432 >>1549443 >>1549446 >>1549447 >>1549452 >the fusion gun hits li ming >he yells in pain as he is being thrown into the fire circle by the fusion gun >he burns to death, and his corpse is gone >jason comes in What'd I miss?
Jack Ward
>>1549464 "Oh nothing, just a friend"
Arthas Menethil
Alex Jones
>>1549464 "You came at just the right time, brother. Good job on sending that demon back to hell where he belongs"
Gideon Crawforde
>>1549464 >He tosses the fusion gun to >>1549479 Arthas Menethil
Hans Wilhelm
>>1549464 "Just a little scuffle."
OP
>>1549523 >>1549515 >>1549489 >>1549484 >>1549479 >>1549478 >you all see that was a robot li ming >it powers down and sparks >jason You sure that's Li Ming?
Noobleone "The Butcher"
Quoted By:
>>1549464 "where were you?"
Hans Wilhelm
Quoted By:
>>1549532 "Son of a bitch."
>Sigh deeply "I guess not..."
Jack Ward
Quoted By:
>>1549532 "I'm... just going back to the block, see you there."
>I head back to the cells Arthas Menethil
Quoted By:
>>1549532 >Lights another cigar and thinks about aiko Alex Jones
Quoted By:
>>1549532 "Now, brother, to defeat these globalists Arumes"