>>15532073A lot in quick succession actually.
I can hold a conversation with strangers about just about anything in a way I didn't think I could. And sometimes I do need that, but it can become tiring when taken to excess.
I didn't like cocaine at all and it made me feel dirty and gross and I'll forever feel sorry for people who are chasing that feel-nothing evil substance. All that one took was one night where nothing really all that bad happened, I just felt gross anyway.
Drinking doesn't actually make social interaction more pleasant, it just makes you think about the conversation less, which is a bad thing. That lesson has been building for me a lot longer than just those two months though, these experiences just put the final nail in that coffin.
Weed does make it easier for me to navigate life, but it also puts a wet blanket over everything that should actually impact you and that is a very bad thing. This lesson is the same for me as the drinking one in terms of just being a final nail.
I had the opportunity to take a lot of women home just by holding a conversation with them, even ones I actually legitimately liked, but the prospect disgusted me when it presented itself and I'm glad I chose not to. That stuff isn't for me, I don't want to meet someone through a bar.
Most importantly though, I learned I really like my family who I have been mean to and avoidant of for a long time. I'd rather spend my time around them and the small number of friends I've managed to get as a shut-in autist.
And lastly, that I ultimately am concerned with my religious/spiritual pursuits a lot more than anything else. Sitting alone in my room feeling that god loves me feels a lot better than talking to a group of strangers thinking that they hate me even though they're being really nice to me.
