I don't recognize myself anymore. I thought I could just blow off some steam and I could quit whenever I wanted. That was over a year ago and I'm a full on degenerate drug addict now. I've lost my job, blown off relationships, it has seeped into every faucet of my life. I came to a realization a couple months ago that I need to make changes in my life and get out of my current situation, but every time I try to quit the urges get stronger and I slip even further into the pit. It feels like I'm being attacked spiritually as well, I'll have bad dreams and lose control of my thoughts and emotions until I give in once again. The worst part is that it's all my fault. I chose this, no one forced me down this path, the younger me would be terrified if he saw what I look like. Any anons know how to escape? It seems these days more people than usual are struggling with addiction, especially since the pandemic started, which was my case. I don't know what I need to quit, I think my willpower is low but maybe subconsciously I don't even want to quit. A few weeks back I almost died in my apartment, I spent the whole day on the bathroom floor. That would be a wake up call for most people right? But no, I was back on my bullshit a few days later. Sooner or later this is going to be the death of me.