How can I get over regret for denying multiple women sex over the course of a year hoping to increase self worth after a breakup ?

Had a thing with this girl, I really like her but she was one of those "not ready for relationship" type (actually real, it was an abusive one) but I could've smashed first date when I was kissing her neck and shit but I didn't wanna because we were drunk and idk now I feel that this relationship isn't gonna be official and I can't help but feel immense regret. I don't watch porn, so I'm not addicted or anything, I just want to be able to have a functional relationship with a woman that isn't based on a first date sex encounter because they all just wanna be friends if I don't sleep with them