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Here is an ancient ritual to summon a succubus, but be warned, this is black magic and can go wrong so follow it carefully:
Go to the Craigslist casual encounters and chant this three times:
I have 200 dollars
I have 200 dollars
I have 200 dollars
You will be messaged by a hyper realistic email. This is the succubus. Tell her you want her to wear all black and to talk dirty.
If she gets disinterested quickly tell her you will pay extra. If she agrees, tell her your address and get ready for the hardest part of the ritual. Turn off all the lights. Light 10 black candles, put them around your bed and wait.
If you see flashing red lights and hear the wails of a siren, something has gone horribly wrong. Immediately blow out the candles and pretend you are not home. No matter what you hear, do not open the door. The evil spirit will take you away to be raped by black beasts.
However, if you hear a knock you have been deemed worthy. But be warned, as this ritual is known to summon incubi as well. They will be disguised, but if you see something out of place chant "Fuck off, faggot" continuously until they leave. If you do not they will rape you. After that you will be followed by constant decay. You will never be able to recover from any disease. You will grow pale like a corpse and slowly wither away.
After verifying that they are a succubus, let them in and enjoy the "fruits" of your labor. But be warned. Black magic has a price. A month later you will see blisters and boils anywhere your skin touched the demon. Soon you will see the succubus outside your mother's house everyday, screaming and pounding at the door. She will continue this, each day getting fatter and more hideous, until 9 months. Then, you will pay...
