>>15814071You will never be dutch. You have no fair hair, you have no blue eyes, you have no light skin. You are a mentally ill asian girl twisted by nationalism and waffels into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
Dutch people are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed Dutch people to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even asian girls who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a Dutch person. Your facial structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he looks at your tiny, yellow, slanted eyelids.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your native language, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an asian girl is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably asian.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.