tsutsu kun, i need an outlet where i can cope. please bear with me until i am le free. the more i think about my issues, the more i realize how i severely downplayed them. the more i think about my current situation, the more i realize how messed up it is. the more i think about the past, or rather what i am able to remember of it, the more i realize how messed up it was. i feel so sick. my tummy and head hurt so much. i feel constant nausea. my heart is beating at a rate of 90-110 bpm. i cried yesterday. tsutsu kun, i dont want to die