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The Cuckening of Thor

No.16212788 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
the Cuckening of Thor, by St. Boniface

>Around the year 723, Boniface was traveling with a small party in the region of Lower Hesse. He knew of a community of heathens near Geismar who, in the middle of winter, would make a human sacrifice (a child, typically) to the thunder-god Thor (yes, THAT Thor) at the base of their sacred oak tree, the “Thunder Oak”. Boniface, in part from advice from a brother bishop, wished to destroy the Thunder Oak to not only save the life of the human sacrifice, but also to show the heathens that he would not be struck down by lightning at the hands of Thor.
>As the story goes, Boniface and his companions, reaching the village on Christmas Eve, arrived at the place of the sacrifice in time enough to interrupt it. With his bishops’ staff (crozier) in hand, Boniface approached the pagan crowd, who had surrounded the base of the Thunder Oak, saying to his group, “Here is the Thunder Oak, and here the cross of Christ shall break the hammer of the false god, Thor.”
>With a small child laid out for the sacrifice, the executioner raised his hammer high. But on the downswing, Boniface extended his crozier to block the blow, miraculously breaking the great stone hammer and saving the child’s life.
>Boniface picked up an axe nearby and, as legend has it, took one mighty swing at the oak when a great gust of wind arose through the forest and felled the tree, roots and all. It lie on the forest floor, broken in four pieces. Though afterwards Boniface had a chapel built from the wood, our story takes us to what stood immediately beyond the ruins of the mighty tree.
>And so, the Germans began a new tradition that night, one that stretches to the present day. By bringing a fir into their homes, decorating it with candles and ornaments, and celebrating the birth of a Savior, the Apostle of Germany and his flock gave us what we now know as the Christmas tree

Pagan Status: KEKED AND FUCKED