I guess this is a god a place of any to vent this out. Not like they’ll read it anyway. Nobody will.
I was friends with Cowboy for a long time. In fact I bullied the hell out of him before we were friends all over bant. He’s a lonely, sad, dirty, unkempt and abrasive young man. His life isn’t the best and he’s got it harder than most with his family situation. I’ve offered to get him out of it but he decided to stay where he was. Probably because he knows I’m absolutely in love with him. I love his burzum shirts, the way he hates women, how his beard made him look like a Viking warrior, the big brain he has for Anglo history, his cute reactions to being complimented and his general disdain for most things while still maintaining his desire for friends, a social life and a gf.
I’m not friends with Cowboy anymore because I can’t handle being like this. I love him and he’ll never love me back and even worse he makes me feel wrong for existing or having these feelings in the first place. Ain’t nobody else showing his ass love but me and it gets too tiresome doing it all for nothing.
So now here I am. I haven’t talked to him in months and I know he’s crying and whining about when I’m coming back to him like I have a reason to….while I feel awful I essentially left him alone with nobody else I can’t go back to that.
Thanks for reading my blog!
