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I think this idealization is the few.
I used to want to share and treat others equally but literally learned from 99% of the encounters I had growing up that that is not how people generally view the world and no one told me straight up how things work (because the nature of people who do not want to share and treat people equally is to maintain a sense of personal sanctity, which talking planely and truthfully would negate).
If I was getting picked on, I did not understand why these children were doing the equivilent of trying to kill me, and that if I were to retaliate with the same malice they showed me it would result in their death.
I used to cry because that whole concept of people willing to be that mean scared me.
Being a nice person is not communism, 99% of the communists I have met have been total brainlet pieces of shit who justify their horrid actions and treatment of people with baby book tier mentalities.
Being a nice person who wants to treat people equally is just rare, and if you survive without anybody telling you what's what there is a massive amount of rage and resentment for these "humans" around you.
If it's isolating and anonymising, it's psychotic, and does not think anyone else their equal (even if they treat you nicely, it's only to their own end and if it was you or it, it will pick itself).