>Be me
>Live in Switzerland
>Public Transport has existed in situ and evolved naturally with the progression of technology without me ever having to contribute towards it.
>Get dressed and get on the public transport system
>Driver is a 19-year-old kid with long blonde hair and massive headphones on
>Studied for 14 years to become a public transport driver
>Recognize him immediately, it's the Schoki Stangli from down the road
>Sit down
>Public transport filled with people, mostly middle-aged men who know 8 languages, speak none of them, and are all part of the same Zivilschuts branch
>6-year-old kid next to me exclaims "Sonne Opfer"
>Give him my phone, he notices I have Angry Birds
>Speaks to me in perfect English
>"Hello, I am the Minister for Technological Advancement. You have clearly demonstrated a commitment to furthering my causes and software interests. For this reason, I am awarding you 75,000.- CHF"
>Say "Messi" (thanks)
>"Here's another 25,000.- CHF for being fluent in Schwiitzerdeutch (English: "sweating German")."
>Get off then public transport
>Immediately see naked man wearing nothing but a swastika armband
>He turns to me and speaks
>"Hello. I am going to actively frame you in the eyes of the Swiss. I have been tasked with ensuring that every foreigner is framed in order maintain sanctity in this tax haven".
>He runs off and tackles a man
>Unser Bank Schweitz awards him favours for causing light trolling
>Walk into supermarket, can't decide if I should go to Coop or Migros
>Purchase a bottle of water
>Cashier asks me if I have a club card
>I show her my schoki schtangli
>I use my Auslanderausweiss to prove my age
>The supermarket doesn't even double check the authenticity
>As I'm walking out the first-generation immigrants in the supermarket are running out
>"THIS IS JUST THE ANNUAL TESTING FOR OUR NATION-WIDE SIREN SYSTEM, WE'RE NOT GOING TO DETONATE THE NUKES TO DESTROY THIS HAVEN TODAY" <;D
>Just another day in the world's happiest country!
