>>167432Got drunk,ate a bunch of food, then decided to walk home instead of catch a cab at 1 in the morning, home being 15km+ away. Stopped at the 7/11 bought a liter of Mountain dew and drank that down for the caffeine and kept walking.
About mid way my stomach is at war with itself. I keep going 3/4th way I'm turtling hard. So fuck it. notice a concrete block and come up with a interesting idea involving it being an improvised shitter.
So I hang my ass over the edge and it works okay at first. Then the liter of Mountain Dew and the half liter of Vodka kick in and I piss myself. I stand up in a panic and it turns out that the turtle head was a seal to to the stomach load of diarrhea shit that it held back. Before I know it, my jeans, my boxers my shoes and socks are coated in shit.
So there I am, emptied completely out and standing there in a pile of piss and shit. TI'm thanking God that it's 3 am and I live in bumfuck nowhere. So I pull my shit and piss filled pants up and waddle almost a kilometer until I remember the river that's nearby. It's April, freezing fucking cold and running hard. But whatever. I wade in and wash myself off.
That was probably my most retarded moment in my life.
