>>16876902im a single guy, live in an empty house, ive had tons of gfs in the past but the last 5 years or so has been a drought. no real solid connections (i dont date for sex) and it has been eating away at me, not having someone to share life with. So I smoke weed to make my free time feel less empty, to make skyrim for the 20th time somewhat engaging, or some movie tolerable. i really just am running out the clock on life and don't find it worth the trouble most days. ive had a gun for years and its comforting to know its there if I decide to call it quits. Also hooked on daily benzos, almost daily phenibut, and occasional weed for off-time / adderal for work-time. High functioning, leaving my job as an engineering manager at AWS to go work at a startup. But none of it matters anymore, got my dream job (AWS), got the big bucks, nothing changed, empty. empty. empty. Just way more stress.
> shroomsi have shrooms, they just make me feel even more alone. i brew up a tea and it just focuses me more on everything that's gone wrong, or is going wrong. Makes me feel cold, colors pop, but overall i just feel vulnerable and alone. It's not like when I'd do shrooms as part of a friend group, partying out in the forest. Tbh I have a bunch of shrooms available but no desire to take that path.
