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Quoted By: >>17075811
>Be me
>Glorious Evropean
>Wake up
>Start the day with a breakfast of goat sausage with 4 shots of whiskey, 3 glasses of wine and 6 beers on the side
>Ride bike for 1.2 kilometers to job at Deutsche Bank
>Walk in the building and immediately my armpits start sweating profusely because there's no air conditioning
>Telecommute into meeting with Americans
>Remember to ask them if they can read a map or if they shot up any schools lately, maybe this time someone will laugh
>Meeting ends, lunch time: a salted snail with parmesan
>Cut into it with fingernails because knives are considered illegal weapons
>Side of 5 shots of gin, 3 shots of vodka and 11 beers, all available on tap
>After a long, grueling 3-and-a-half-hour work day, walk out of the office and start riding my bike home
>Ride past my favorite brothel, get distracted looking at a woman in the window and crash my bike into nearby "refugees welcome" sign
>Policewoman sees it, rushes over and begins interrogating me
>I explain it was an accident and I didn't mean to, but she still arrests me for hate speech
>Call wife to bail me out
>Wife is 14
>God, you Americans are such prudes about age difference
>Go home where we enjoy a dinner of bread and donkey stomach, wash it down with 3 whole bottles of wine, 10 shots of scotch, 14 ciders and 22 beers between us
>Snuggle up for bed while listening to relaxing Rammstein songs, grateful to live in the greatest civilization of the modern world
>Glorious Evropean
>Wake up
>Start the day with a breakfast of goat sausage with 4 shots of whiskey, 3 glasses of wine and 6 beers on the side
>Ride bike for 1.2 kilometers to job at Deutsche Bank
>Walk in the building and immediately my armpits start sweating profusely because there's no air conditioning
>Telecommute into meeting with Americans
>Remember to ask them if they can read a map or if they shot up any schools lately, maybe this time someone will laugh
>Meeting ends, lunch time: a salted snail with parmesan
>Cut into it with fingernails because knives are considered illegal weapons
>Side of 5 shots of gin, 3 shots of vodka and 11 beers, all available on tap
>After a long, grueling 3-and-a-half-hour work day, walk out of the office and start riding my bike home
>Ride past my favorite brothel, get distracted looking at a woman in the window and crash my bike into nearby "refugees welcome" sign
>Policewoman sees it, rushes over and begins interrogating me
>I explain it was an accident and I didn't mean to, but she still arrests me for hate speech
>Call wife to bail me out
>Wife is 14
>God, you Americans are such prudes about age difference
>Go home where we enjoy a dinner of bread and donkey stomach, wash it down with 3 whole bottles of wine, 10 shots of scotch, 14 ciders and 22 beers between us
>Snuggle up for bed while listening to relaxing Rammstein songs, grateful to live in the greatest civilization of the modern world
