santa aint shit. the elves work hard making the presents and the reindeer fly them over to you. santa does fuck all compared to that, yet for some reason he gets all the props. any random guy you pick off the street could do it
hes literally just an overweight delivery guy. do you serve milk and cookies to the guy at the door whenever you order food? ig if you tip but you shouldnt anyway
sure maybe he directs the reindeer but anybody else could do that if they were trained a little on it, riding a sleigh isnt anything impressive. i honestly doubt that he even has to do that either, he cant keep all those addresses in mind so he obviously has some kind of gps device helping him
i suppose he has to sneak into homes and place the presents, but its pretty clear he must be using some magical cloaking device or something for that, no way a fatty is gonna be able to do that legit without ever being caught. if he can then anyone else can
like whatever, let him have his cushy job, its not bad to just be a delivery guy cause its still necessary. but whats annoying is that he gets all the praise
you leave milk and cookies only for him and he sure as fuck doesnt bring back any for the elves, u can gather that from his physique. nor do u leave any mushrooms on the roof for the poor reindeer who have to haul a fatass and a mountain of presents the whole night
and santa definitely likes being in the spotlight is the thing
he could very easily split up the reindeer into different carriages because theyre so fast that altogether they can wrap around the world in seconds, which is more speed than youll need. im pretty sure you could have a number of carriages with one or two reindeer each and that would make spreading presents around much more efficient
thing is though if he did that he just wouldnt be the main guy anymore and he cant have that. if there were any other sleigh riders he wouldnt feel special