Perhaps it's time to let go and focus on my personal goals. It can't work between us either as friends or anything more because our radically divergent point of views are going to clash and cause suffering to the both of us. You're a liberal atheist, I'm a conservative buddhist. Our ways of understanding the world will never be in harmony unless either of us caves in to the other. Is my calling worth abandoning forever for a woman? I don't think so, being a double faced atheist (who wants to save people from dire conditions but doesn't think twice before killing a person growing inside a woman's belly) doesn't just sit well with me. I don't discriminate against age, sex or nationality, every human being from the moment they're inside a womb to the moment they die is precious.