>>17271261I’ll have a shiner bock.
Anyways I’m starting to get real worried about myself. I’m contemplating suicide within the next decade or so. I failed. I had chances to have kids and I was too paranoid pf divorce rape to do it. Tried in my mid 30’s after becoming debt free and we had 3 miscarriages. Did IVF with genetic testing and everything. It didn’t last. I’ve been pursuing happiness and I’ve getting the feeling that externally that it wouldn’t even matter. I feel like the best years are behind me. soon I’ll be the last of my family left. I look externally and all that I see is stolen election, support for ww3, and people who were incapable of thinking for themselves. I’m worried that we were the generation that allowed freedom to be taken away.
I tried to influence the world and popularize an old hobby, but I don’t think that I’ve had any success. I’ve been lacking motivation lately. There are some things bringing me joy right now, but there’s so much other stuff that is letting me down.
Honestly I wish I would have adopted a more white trash lifestyle and reproduced. I feel like I not only failed myself, but the white race. I feel like it’s a war that we can’t win and that there is no further use in trying. I’ve got enough money to live on condo for 30 years, but I fear that I will fall into a depression that I won’t be able to crawl out of.
In short even with every advantage I feel like life isn’t going to improve. I hate this feeling, but I just can’t seem to stop it. I am just blackpilled and I can’t stop fretting.
Sorry if I ruined your bar atmosphere by complaining but I’ll be in the corner playing solitaire if anyone’s up for a game of gin.
