I don't see the point in my life. I can't find friends, my studies are really bad, I don't even want to have a girlfriend because I don't respect myself, I don't want to work and can't see my career. I constantly have a fog in my head and because of this I behave like awkward retard.
So, I think it's literally over for me. I'll be 21 soon and it's too late to fix anything.
I want to leave my university and join the army, I don’t care about this whole situation with Ukraine and Russia, I just don’t see another way out for myself, I’m lucky if I die, if not, I will earn big money by the standards of Ukraine.ю, If I get a disability, I'll kill myself right away. I don't know how to tell my parents this, they have hope on me a lot.