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I Give up

Anonymous ID:qUeSE5b5 Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:05:05 No.1744786 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>1744832 >>1744892 >>1745158 >>1745635 >>1746053

I know my life could be so much worse than it is,
but why am I so fucked up? Why did I fuck up my life so badly? I know it's weak to give up but that's all I can think about, I just really want to kill myself. I just fucking hate myself so much.

I spent 4 months in jail because I'm an idiot.
I have like literally 0 friends. Not as in I don't consider the people I know to be my friends I don't have anyone, noone texts me I don't really talk with anyone.

I just have no idea how to meet people even when I go places. My depression/social anxiety is disgusting, all I can think when I'm even just around people is that they just hate me, I can see it, the way they look at me.

Just fuck me \I'm pathetic

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:9bpSdw/d Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:06:22 No.1744797 Report

Quoted By:

I like you.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:v38YmCon Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:07:48 No.1744803 Report

Quoted By:

BBBRRRRAAAAPPPP

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:iPR/DQ/h Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:07:54 No.1744804 Report

Quoted By: >>1744811

just take it easy

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:LW7DPlLu Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:08:08 No.1744807 Report

Quoted By: >>1744875

I can relate. Was the victim of child abuse/neglect/psychological abuse, diagnosed with ADHD as a kid back before it was a fad, and whether I had it or not the stigma from it and how I was treated as borderline retarded because people didn't understand it caused me to have issues believing I could do things. I'm a fully grown adult with children and I avoid doing many basic things out of fear. I even fear getting a real job. Feels like if I could overcome my anxiety/depression I could take on the world easily, but instead everyday my world gets smaller, while I pat myself on the back for basically doing nothing.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:LW7DPlLu Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:08:55 No.1744811 Report

Quoted By: >>1744924 >>1745635

>>1744804
Today I made Tea/Mate combined in my coffee maker and it was fucking great. Despite enjoying both I don't know why I waited 7 years to combine them. Is there a name for it already?

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:lQrCUngw Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:13:58 No.1744832 Report

Quoted By: >>1744875

>>1744786
It's all in your mind. The pains of the ego are not your own. They feel like they are, buy they are not. Learn to see the personality as separate from yourself and things will get better. It has wants and desires and is never content. You do not. Find something you enjoy and pursue it. To give up is to give in to the ego and identify with it. Resist and listen to that small voice within. It will guide you.

"Your stairway lies on the whispering wind."

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:qUeSE5b5 Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:22:55 No.1744875 Report

Quoted By: >>1744920 >>1744939 >>1745635

>>1744832
>>1744807

I've always wanted to learn guitar and I have been now and making great progress. That and The Office or HIMYM get me through the day

But that's all I'm doing it feels like, surviving. What's the point of staying alive if the onlything to look forward to is just that being alive and having to go through another shitty day

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:oKze0/tQ Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:27:38 No.1744892 Report

Quoted By: >>1744920

>>1744786
embrace flyover state living. Everyone who isnt going to inherit a farm leaves for the coasts. Its gonna be a lonely mf'er. you kill yourself all your enemies win anyways. Anyone that ever swung on you in a bar, stole your shit, any whores that went off to fuck some other shithead. They all win

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:LW7DPlLu Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:32:37 No.1744920 Report

Quoted By:

>>1744875
I'm probably a little older than you and looking back, I realize that all that happened was that I survived. Patting myself on the back while cowering away from the real work of life.

Now I'm coming to realize that the negative voice in my head that keeps me doing stupid shit, not doing good shit, and feeling like a worthless jackass is just my brain reinforcing the lies I was told. I can choose to either make them true by failing either through not trying hard enough or never trying, or I can prove them wrong and become happier one day at a time by doing everything even if my negative internal voices scream and shout. Not actual voices of course but just feeling worthless or inable, etc.

I was in your place with thoughts about what good it is to be alive, but to be honest even the things you would attribute to people who are doing it right could be boiled down to worthless. Human experience is itself something of value, and you need to get out there and dig some up.

>>1744892
I live in a flyover state.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:iPR/DQ/h Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:34:39 No.1744924 Report

Quoted By: >>1744949

>>1744811
i don't know if there's a name for it but it does makes it better, my parents combine chamomile and peppermint with it too

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:lQrCUngw Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:37:56 No.1744939 Report

Quoted By: >>1744949

>>1744875
I've been there before. Apathy can be a terrible thing. It can also reveal a lot about yourself too though. The key is to find something worth living for. It sounds cliche, but if you change your perspective you change your life. The only thing limiting you is yourself. Negative thoughts are running rampant through your head. If you have never tried meditation I suggest that. Read some philosophy and try to approach your problems from another perspective. Once you calm your inner mind the outer world will reflect these changes.

https://youtu.be/aq0szCX7A1Y

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:LW7DPlLu Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:42:55 No.1744949 Report

Quoted By: >>1744970

>>1744924
That's ingenious. Thanks for sharing man, you may have just made the first half of my day a little better.

>>1744939
Sometimes I think the old ADHD diagnosis is right, I basically live in the moment all the time. If I do something now I don't care and it gets done but if I don't do it immediately it stops existing.

Meditation doesn't work for me, I've tried several times throughout the years, insight meditation and a few others.

Any other tips for confronting the negative voice?I need to dig out faster. Right now it's one small accidental victory into another, and sometimes they're far apart.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:lQrCUngw Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:55:41 No.1744970 Report

Quoted By: >>1744980

>>1744949
First of all realize what that negative voice is. Is it necessary and does it help you in any way? There's a theory that we all have an "inner child" or essence that is our true Self. This often remains underdeveloped while the personality or Ego takes over. In order to create a uniform Self it is necessary to notice our own duality. The only way to break the Ego's control is by resisting that negative voice and acting when it tells you not to. This is different from your conscience. Resist your old habits and give up any addictions. Establish some sense of control and the ego's influence will weaken. Follow the Tao and pair any negative thought with a positive one. Over time your worldview will adjust and your confidence will grow.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:LW7DPlLu Thu 10 Aug 2017 06:58:20 No.1744980 Report

Quoted By: >>1745064

>>1744970
Screenshotted, thank you.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:lQrCUngw Thu 10 Aug 2017 07:20:43 No.1745064 Report

Quoted By: >>1745141

>>1744980
No problem. If you want to attempt meditation again don't follow any guides. Just sit in a comfortable position alone with your own thoughts. Try not to move a muscle (it's ok if you do though). Obseve your thoughts as they arise and let them go. At first this will be hard and it will seem pointless, but over time it will become easier. Think of this as developing your Will as it quiets the thoughts of the ego. Keep in mind that your body will resist and you will ache. Stay in the same position and you will find that the aches go away suddenly. This is the ego showing dominance.

One side effect is that you may be flung into a far deeper depression as the ego struggles to maintain its position. Push through this and it will feel like a weight has been lifted. Anything you have done in the past is the result of the ego. You have let it remain in control and suffered the consequences but its problems are not yours.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:LW7DPlLu Thu 10 Aug 2017 07:39:52 No.1745141 Report

Quoted By:

>>1745064
I'm trying to translate your advice into language I will understand.

So through my lens, this is what I'm getting:

the Id (inner child) isn't developed or the relationships between pieces isn't developed. the Ego (surface personality that negotiates with the world) becomes almost all of what I am.

I feel in this framework I have a very well developed super ego because I have a strong sense of morals, right/wrong, a strong sense of traditional masculinity, and a deep pulse on my duties and place in the world.

I just cannot make myself do shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:DwzeKlu+ Thu 10 Aug 2017 07:43:08 No.1745158 Report

Quoted By: >>1745392

>>1744786

Loser. pot is not addictive

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:UnJQLcz0 Thu 10 Aug 2017 08:38:11 No.1745392 Report

Quoted By:

>>1745158
Do all leafs have such poor reading comprehension skills?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO bd4.gif, 2MiB, 540x378

Anonymous ID:mNXnlsv2 Thu 10 Aug 2017 09:23:27 No.1745635 Report

Quoted By:

>>1744811
Damnit, why didn't I think of this before? Too bad I don't have mate right now.

>>1744786
>>1744875
Don't give up OP, I believe in you. I'm sure you're doing better than you think but your apathy doesn't let you see it. I've been there and it sucks, but you need to force yourself to acknowledge your progress, even if it's small.
Also keep up the guitar learning, acquiring a new skill is always rewarding.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Relax.jpg, 123KiB, 834x390

Anonymous ID:QMjl1FmN Thu 10 Aug 2017 11:04:38 No.1746053 Report

Quoted By: >>1746145

>>1744786
Go to /adv/ dude.
A Short Lesson in Life: Part 1
=>Struggles and Decision-making
>Struggles
"If a bird stops flying in the middle of the sea, it'll drown."
Remember that strong men are created by hard struggles, for you gain experience in those struggles and learn to either avoid or to take it as early as possible. This ensures the future of one by taking pre-emptive action to avoid further complication. Learn from your past, you should know better because you, you, and you only can dictate their fate. Don't go against the flow of struggle and instead learn to work with it.

=>Decision-making
"Even the most subtle of decisions dictate one's fate."
Careful consideration of the possible consequences and benefits on deciding will be useful in the long run. Remember that taking decisions will consume thought and time, both of which are very important to decision making. Thus, you must straighten yourself up. The more consistent your decisions are, the easier it is for you to choose. Limit your choices based on benefit minus consequence and you’ll be fine.

Anonymous

Anonymous ID:QMjl1FmN Thu 10 Aug 2017 11:23:11 No.1746145 Report

Quoted By:

>>1746053
Bump.

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