>>17607077You want painful, get a foot of barbed wire and a foot of 3/4 inch poly pipe. Sand down one end of the poly pipe to make it nice and smooth then slather it up in as much lube as you can get your hands on.
Stick the poly pipe up the victims butthole, stick the barbed wire inside the poly pipe, remove the poly pipe, and then give him some bottles of water and leave.
He can't pull it out, walking is impossible because of the pain, and the small but nasty internal injuries will turn septic in a few hours, but it will take him several days to die. If he doesn't drink the water then he'll die of thirst in about a day and a half. But he's going to drink the water because humans don't die of thirst by choice.
And all of this takes place in minecraft of course.
