>>1771356One time I was super horny so I started watching porn and masterbating in my bedroom. About three minutes in, my mom knocked on my door and told me to leave the house, because some retards wanted to come see it to potentially buy the houseplan.
I throw my clothes on, but forget my underwear and accidentally zip muh dick in the zipper and cry in pain.
I start driving like a madman in my 2001 golden sienna minivan out into the countryside (I live in a very rural area) to find a secluded area to finish the job. I don't want to finish in my van because that would make a mess.
I can't find anywhere, and finally I find a little dirt road into some bushes. The problem is it's right behind the church I go to every week, so I feel guilty because it's like God is watching me cum.
Anyway, I get out in front of my van into some bushes and start going at it. I can't finish because I guess I'm a porn addict, so I get my phone out but have incredibly slow data because I'm in the middle of no where. I end up going watching the same gif stop and start while I'm hammering away desperately trying to cum.
I finally finish and watch my semen get sprayed onto the leafs of a bush. I look up and stare at the church in shame, and look to my left. I guess some repair men were at the church, so I was fapping roughly 200 yards from some dudes. I really home they didn't see me.
Then I drove away leaving my cum to rot on some sad bush. Backing up out of the road was a nightmare, and a tree branch smashed out my back left tail light.
0/10 would not do again.
