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Is it possible to have always been tired of life? Like... I can't remember a time when I genuinely enjoyed being alive. I've always been a weak ass kid. I couldn't properly socialize with other males because Im a fruitcake and Im weak. Girls were disgusted with me, and they still are. I open instagram or any social media and there's always something going on, people excited about different things, making things, going places, etc, I don't want to do any of those things. It's nice to have connection with someone I find attractive but that rarely ever happens. I'm just not impressed by much. Everything seems frivolous, and its so hard to make money.