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Since this thread was deleted just now, I want to make it clear THAT I'M FINE AND WON'T HURT MYSELF
I posted this yesterday and thought about everything. I decided that my life can't go on like that. So I'm going to get myself together tomorrow and slowly improve.
I'm afraid however. Very afraid of failure and overall depressed with my people. My whole town is being invaded and I feel like being replaced in my own country.
THAT THING makes me sad the most. I care about my family, my people and my race. Not about money or anything just my family, my people and my race.
>For those of you who haven't seen the thread yet, here it is again:
>This is a question for the actual National Socialists / Fascists and not the cuckservatives:
>I'm 25 years old and got redpilled in 2018 and became a National Socialist. After that the years 2018-2020 were one of the best times in my life. I became fit, dropped all degenerate stuff, read books and was happy in general.
>When and during the Covid hoax I had a lot of family problems and almost lost my job due to a vax mandate. I was so hopeless that I even licked public toilet seats to get sicked and also considered f ing myself.
>I somehow made it out unvaxxed but my mental didn't recover. I just don't care about anything anymore and I'm happy when I can go to sleep.
>My life now:
>still have family problems
>overweight
>coomer (means I watch porn and jack off like 4-10 times a day)
>don't look after myself anymore, means I don't shower and shave often
>smoke (vape) and drink alcohol every single day for the past 6 months
>get depressed when I see the state of Germany (means when I'm in public)
>introverted
>stutter when speaking at work or giving a presentation
>talk very slow
>sometimes keep getting suicidal thoughts
>have friends but I always have to make the same move
>Is my life truly over? How do I bounce back up? What do I do?
>Sorry for the blogpost but I needed to write my situation out.
I posted this yesterday and thought about everything. I decided that my life can't go on like that. So I'm going to get myself together tomorrow and slowly improve.
I'm afraid however. Very afraid of failure and overall depressed with my people. My whole town is being invaded and I feel like being replaced in my own country.
THAT THING makes me sad the most. I care about my family, my people and my race. Not about money or anything just my family, my people and my race.
>For those of you who haven't seen the thread yet, here it is again:
>This is a question for the actual National Socialists / Fascists and not the cuckservatives:
>I'm 25 years old and got redpilled in 2018 and became a National Socialist. After that the years 2018-2020 were one of the best times in my life. I became fit, dropped all degenerate stuff, read books and was happy in general.
>When and during the Covid hoax I had a lot of family problems and almost lost my job due to a vax mandate. I was so hopeless that I even licked public toilet seats to get sicked and also considered f ing myself.
>I somehow made it out unvaxxed but my mental didn't recover. I just don't care about anything anymore and I'm happy when I can go to sleep.
>My life now:
>still have family problems
>overweight
>coomer (means I watch porn and jack off like 4-10 times a day)
>don't look after myself anymore, means I don't shower and shave often
>smoke (vape) and drink alcohol every single day for the past 6 months
>get depressed when I see the state of Germany (means when I'm in public)
>introverted
>stutter when speaking at work or giving a presentation
>talk very slow
>sometimes keep getting suicidal thoughts
>have friends but I always have to make the same move
>Is my life truly over? How do I bounce back up? What do I do?
>Sorry for the blogpost but I needed to write my situation out.
