>>17780678because i got a fucking existentional crisis nigga?
my whole life is a shit. alcoholic parents who beat me up to death, was bullied in school by mfs who are already in jail. but i still been working hard all these years. but when the fucking war broke out, ALL my efforts gone to shit. every single one of them.
i still try my best, but whenever i get to work i got immediate thoughts in my head "whatever youre doing is useless. imagine john. john was born in america. in a good quite cozy white neighbourhood. he got good caring parents. he had a nice childhood. he attended nice private school, where he got into programming at the age of 10. he had friends, parties, his life was perfectly balanced and fine. parents bought him a car at 18, and paid his MIT study. john now is a grown up and lives in silicon valley. he enjoys the life the second he wakes up. you will never be able to achieve his level of happiness without mephedrone. you will never be able to compete with him in coding, because you are literally bred by alcoholics. kys. faggot. do it right now. kinds like you should extinct. do it right now."
while having these thoughts in my head i cant do SHIT. and these thoughts are intrusive, so they haunt me on a daily basis.
alright you made me tear up by making me type this post and mentally go through this shit. have a nice day.
