thinking makes me happy, as long as it's of a profound spiritual/universal nature
so does listening to music
learning new skills is fun, as long as you can overcome the fear and intimidation the challenge presents
spending time in nature gives me time to heal, especially in water
doing drugs; light stuff like outdoor cannabis, wine, tea, and tobacco. one part for the high, the second for the ritual. psychedelics occasionally, but not so much recreationally.
engaging in physical activity also makes me happy because i get to push the boundaries of what i can expect from myself physically
pursuing my dreams, like those things i'd always wanted to do as a kid, but never had the real capability for until now, is satisfying
one of my happiest moments lately, is just spending time with my partner. he is my anchor, and without him, i have no home. not that he provides for me physically, but mentally and spiritually. i feel loved when i'm with him, and when my immediate environment is defined by that emotional instability that served you a plate of trauma to deal with for the rest of your life, it comes as a blessing. as you see, life did not hand me the best hand of cards, so i just had to make do with what i had. regardless, i try to not let my circumstances drown me, and fix my gaze forwards, to the future. yes, i am scared, but i will embrace whatever comes next, even if it means death.
