>>18239466perseverance is a good thing, and is a good way to self heal
you make me think of borderline traits (undersized ego, with a disproportional attachment to it), but I've seen worse (the problem is borderlines' distortion field is only there to protect the attachment to the ego, not even the ego itself, and it clouds self judgement)
if you were an antisocial, you'd have learned to craft and wear a mask (like narcissists, except antisocials don't actually believe they're the mask they present in public), and you'd have less social troubles
it's harder for borderlines to craft such a thing, but you should learn what makes people tick (that's the geist of the cluster B mask: knowing what people want, and giving them a small dose thereof: it's not that hard, because people are sadly less unique than they'd think): I'm not talking of manipulating (it's an abhorrent thing to do); just of a way to avoid rubbing people off (would make it easier to socialize, which'd help with your depression)
maybe you should also admit nothing can ever be perfect, and learn to choose what is worth (as in important) spending your energy on, failing to do that and easily getting overwhelmed probably being the source of your anxiety
learning to let your grip lose on your ego (what I mean by accepting not everything can be perfect) would help you move your ass, little by little, and take charge with your daily life
would also help in social matters, as your grip on ego is obviously why you refuse to help others (no one enjoys bad sport from others), which ties back to social woes and depression
