>>18460442i try to make a difference, try to focus on the positive, but succumb so easily to the negativity and stress and loneliness, and all of this combined makes me collapse and crumble inside. it feels like nobody wants anything to do with me, that it's my fault for being lonely, it always fucking is. i have fucking nobody else but the bottle to turn to, not even myself because of how fucking mad i am at myself and the world. it makes me so bitter when i'm not really a bitter person inside, i know i care a lot about this world, it's just that this pain inside prevents me from ever letting that person be fully.
everything fucking bothers me, that it's hard to feel like anybody wants to be around me anymore, that nobody will want to be around me, besides the absolute scum that seek to keep you from growing as a human, and selfishly use you for their gain. i'm so fucking bitter, and i hate that i'm bitter. i'd rather make it easy for myself and not be at all.
