>>18472239When I was a wee boy my grandparents would often drop by the house with McDonalds.
They’d always bring me a chicken nugget happy meal and a few packets of sweet n’ sour sauce.
One day the fuckwits at McDonald’s forgot to put sauce packets in the bag.
I know what you’re thinking, just use ketchup instead.
And I would’ve, but we’re completely out of ketchup, and barbecue sauce, and even mustard (parents were barely out of their teens and frequently put off buying food so they could afford weed and booze).
I thought maybe I could improve the taste of the food with a little extra salt.
Unfortunately, ‘a little’ extra salt wasn’t cutting it, so I dipped my nuggies in water and then rolled them in a pile of salt which I’d dumped on the table.
They were pretty good, but within an hour I started vomiting and shitting uncontrollably.
I passed out in a puddle of my own puke in the living room and came to in my parents’ bedroom in a puddle of my own diarrhea.
For the next several hours I continued to puke and shit, eventually vomiting up pure water and what looked like grains of rice.
My grandfather tried to tell me a story while I lapsed in and out of consciousness, the only part I can remember is, “once upon a time there were two crows sitting on a fence looking at a pack of shiftless niggers shooting dice”.
My grandfather passed away a few years ago and I often wonder what happened in his story.
If the story sounds familiar to anyone I’d appreciate knowing how it ended.
If anyone wants to make up a story using his opening line as a prompt I’d appreciate that too.
