>>18475205ive done that for months at a time before in the most extreme conditions conceivable. regardless i guess ill just detail how this developed in case someone else experiences something similar.
i had the worst year of my life. no point in detailing every little thing but just take my word on that. my friends mom was dying and i was unable to talk about any problem cuz people either dont care or theyre dealing with a bigger problem. i started to get this weird feeling like "i am not me".
at first i tried to ignore it, but it became debilitating over the course of 2 weeks. it just caused extreme anxiety and depression and i was having intense depersonalization like i said in the last post. it was like i didnt even recognize myself or any of the people i knew. even my own parents felt like strangers and i kept having to put on an act to pretend to be this person they know, which was "me" but is now not. eventually i got so frustrated with this phenomenon i decided to go into a room in the dark alone and just think through it, like make contact with whatever this "other" was in my mind. i was totally skeptical and did it as a joke, but to my horror and surprise i actually spoke with some entity. it scared the shit out of me. i am not schizophrenic/crazy/on drugs or whatever. id have long deep conversations with this thing in my head that was me but not me and feminine in nature, like motherly and comforting.
immediately after i felt entirely different and so i looked online to try to find out wtf i just experienced. i was afraid i was possessed by a demon. i somehow stumbled on jungian psychology and the concept of the anima and the persona. apparently carl jung talked to a similar "entity" constantly in his life, but he also warned against something called anima possession where this entity that acts as an intermediary between you unconscious and conscious mind takes over.
its pretty hardcore.
