>>18509685i'm trying. it's hard when your external circumstances do so much to tear you down, but i'm dealing with them the only way i really know how, music.
everybody steps over my boundaries, and i don't know how to really get them to stop, i've just become used to it. so, i'm sitting hungry in my room because my sister doesn't realize that i need space today, and that i only need five minutes to grab my food, but she's been spending the entire day in the kitchen, so it makes me upset. my mom, yesterday, violated my boundaries by treating me like her boyfriend, which i despise. i am her son, but she is so narcissistically inclined, that she pretends i'm something else, and that hurts me too. i don't feel like i'll be heard at all by these people, and it's almost a matter that they've broken my trust so many times without much remorse, that i'd rather just close myself off to them, and that's what i do, i shut my door and avoid them like the plague. they don't deserve to be apart of my life.
i guess the only thing left in my world, is my bf, and he tries his best to show me love, and support me through these challenges, so i appreciate him above all. he's not perfect, but he makes much more of an effort than anyone else. if not for him, and our connection, i think i would feel completely alienated and isolated from the rest of the world. anyways, i think my sister is finally leaving to her room after two hours of cooking. i think i can finally eat...
