>>18522432I used to mask 247. after I got out of high school I just sort of stopped caring. it sure makes life difficult though being a reetard cause the more I fuck up at work out of being my clumsy self, not being quick at holding numbers in my head or reacting fast enough etc, I'm pretty convinced I'll be fired sooner or later, any time now.
so that sucks, but I hope that being retarded helps give me a pass of some kind. I'd hate to rely on people picking out the fact I'm a slow-in-the-mind. but sometimes I can't help but make more mistakes than most people. and I wish I could do better. I hate my worth being held up by the fact that at least I'm "trying." for me masking wasn't even fully possible. I can for a while but if someone spends enough time around me I'm certain they see it eventually. so I just give up and really am just myself. since no one thinks of me as autistic right away though it leads to everyone thinking I'm angry all the time or that I hate them. my shy quiet autistic personality just makes me seem cold and unwelcoming but I can't hold a conversation for shit, not with strangers/co workers. not to mention how monotone I am in those situations.
