>>18524511i dont really know if its a discussion i want, i dont know what i want at all
>>18524519i have friends i could call good friends but i always feel guilty for it, like i've done enough wrong that i should just be alone or something
sometimes i'll have dreams of hurting them in some way that leave an unconscious impact on me
in reality, the only way i ever hurt them is by talking with them less, the only things they ever ask me is why i dont talk with them more, but my unconscious mind always interperets their dissapointed faces as something more serious, so i avoid them more out of fear of something thats not there
for some reason, i'm much more comfortable around people who are blunt and rude with me than people who are nice
i'm gonna go to bed, i feel like throwing up
